#2 - Back cover
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view Miaubol's profile

31st May 2016, 8:08 PM

Part 2 completed, here's the back cover -
"Evil TV-ship dangerously approaching our home planet"...

Part 3 begins next week :D


And there,
this comic is upgraded to version 1.0.3! Yay!

What does that mean?
Several fixes have been done, but nothing of the actual story is changed. There were some things with the narrative (some stuff was exaggerated too much and needed to get toned down in order to be believable; some neglected information, not told or not shown and with that possibly confusing; some text passages I was just not happy with). Then some visual stuff here and there which needed some improvement.


#1, all pages:
Line art is made somewhat darker.
Additionally, some of the pages got minor drawing fixes (some lines just too messy, squiggly or curvy).

#1, pages 1, 16, 17, 18:
I just had to put more "tech stuff" in orbit, of all planets, so that the defense looks less ..scarce ;)

#1, pages 28, 29, and #2, pages 16, 21:
The conversation between Reed and Gart is less aggressive now, instead more collegial. As much as I loved the bantering (pretty entertaining to have those two yelling at each other), I figured it was better to tone it down, after all the President trusts the Vice-President, and it should better come off that way too...

#1, page 37:
The PSI-amplification table is now better explained, that it's not only used for future seeing, but for anything extra sensory perception. This would have been shown at some point later anyway, but to avoid confusion, it's better to clarify it already here.

#1, page 41:
Reed now mentions there are some other future seeing people. While these are very rare, Pete is not really the only one (that would have been weird), he just happens to be a particularly good one.

#1, page 67:
Dialog fix - instead of just saying that Pete got drained from the inside, it now says that it was whatever he saw (and not the psi table) that drained him out.

#1, the page numbering is now properly done -
'59, 59extra page, 60, ... 66' are now altered to '59, 60, 61, ... 67'.

#2, Title page:
The sketchy stuff on Alph's face is toned down, it looked way too much like face paint or scars instead of what it was supposed to be - just shadow o.O

#2, pages 6 and 7:
The apocalypse "prank" story is somewhat reworded, the dialog in the original version was too messy or "strange", it's more clear cut and natural now.

#2, pages 8,9, 10:
Some minor wording things (page 8: "side" is added in the last panel, page 9: "...m...men" changed into "...men" page 10: "the secret..." has been changed into "recently, the secret...")

#2, page 17:
The Alph-Gunny dialog is altered to introduce the noise cancellation system.

#2, page 16, 20:
The name Eisart is no longer misspelled... (a college friend of mine has a similar name and at some places I ended up writing that name instead o.O)

#2, pages 18, 19, 59:
Orbit station, some procedure reference numbers are mentioned, to show that decisions and actions done by the crew are not just causal or arbitrary, but actually following a specific protocol.

#2, pages 28, 29:
Alph doesn't get the opportunity to say that Gart killed Reed, Gunny stops him before that happens.

#2, pages 35-39; 48-50.
The sphere is nicely shiny, but on some pages it got too ridiculously exaggerated.

#2, page 38:
The transition from "gun hit" to "entire hand smokes away" is now more gradually (there's less smoke and instead more glowiness in the second panel)

#2, page 48:
The sphere is still in the bag when given back to Sirken. Makes more sense, after all the sphere was in the bag when confiscated.

#2, page 61:
Some fonts in the first panel were super-ugly large for no reason, they are now sized down.

..pant pant pant this took like forever to write. ..not to mention the edits themselves. Eventually, I'll make an 'earlier versions' archive, so that everyone can compare then vs now (nothing will be lost, I just love keeping the old stuff) but yeah, more work ;)

(06.07.16) and some more -

#1, title page:
Middle person (Reed) now turns his head more, so that we can see more of his face. Makes the page look less "anonymous" and more character driven.

#1, page 40:
some text fix in the lower left panel, the crew now "went to the other planets", no longer "spread out" which was misleading (they didn't really go separate ways)..

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view ChilPhil's profile

31st May 2016, 8:20 PM

Wow, it's very impressive you made so many changes. It shows your effort to improve.

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view Miaubol's profile

1st Jun 2016, 1:11 PM

Fortunately, all of it rather minor things, but yes, it just had to be done, despite the pain of time consumption, yet another version update to keep track of, all the change-logging ...not to mention my suffering buffer o.O

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view Stever's profile

1st Jun 2016, 12:09 AM

That turned out great. Very ominous :O

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view Miaubol's profile

1st Jun 2016, 1:12 PM

Thanks :D Yes, it looks very ominous indeed, I'm sure those poor hippies would have preferred a different ship design.. xD

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view Seabiscuit's profile

1st Jun 2016, 6:44 AM

Woah, so many patches~ :D

Ahh, this scene is so lovely despite the doom~

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view Miaubol's profile

1st Jun 2016, 1:13 PM

Patches patches everywhere... But fortunately only smaller (yet important) ones, so there's no need to re-read the comic ;D

..a very particular type of beauty. especially when thinking about that peace&love crew inside xD

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view DizzasterJuice's profile

1st Jun 2016, 4:21 PM

If you think kordinar is bad about space junk wait until you see Walderon.

I don't know how you manage the time and motivation to make all those fixes but my hats off to you. I wish I had that kind of motivation. I have a crap ton that needs fixing.

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view Miaubol's profile

1st Jun 2016, 9:19 PM

But.. but.. Walderon isn't actually *that* bad, the planet just happens to be so much smaller than the other three, making the junk more concentrated ...? ;D

Well, you have *two* big comics going on, so hat off to you too :))

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